Men want what they want.

So much of our culture caters to giving men what they want. A high school student invites model Kate Upton to attend his prom, and he’s congratulated for his audacity. A male fan at a Beyoncé concert reaches up to the stage to slap her ass because her ass is there, her ass is magnificent, and he wants to feel it. The science fiction fandom community is once again having a heated discussion, across the Internet, about the ongoing problem of sexual harassment at conventions — countless women are telling all manner of stories about how, without their consent, they are groped, ogled, lured into hotel rooms under false pretenses, physically lifted off the ground, and more.

But men want what they want. We should all lighten up.

It’s hard not to feel humorless as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.

These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a hug. They’re just breasts. Smile, you’re beautiful. Can’t a man pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman’s worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.

What Men Want, America Delivers - from the inimitable Roxane Gay 

(Source: jessicavalenti, via wildeaboutoscar)

51,910 notes
I’m interested in humans. I think humans are so fascinating, and the fact that we’re like, beautiful, and violent, and vile, all in the same breath. That the mundane and the exalted can live very simultaneously; and I think I’m more interested now in not the romanticized version of what people are, but what people actually are. That’s the stuff that just like, totally gets me off. Annie Clark (St. Vincent)

(Source: fuckyeahstvincent, via lumalore)

2,761 notes
The message is clear. Boys are the norm, girls the variation; boys are central, girls peripheral; boys are individuals, girls types. Boys define the group, its story and its code of values. Girls exist only in relation to boys. Katha Pollitt, "Hers; The Smurfette Principle" (h/t: "Ms. Male Character - Tropes vs Women in Video Games")

(via feminismandhappiness)

8,406 notes
My life is made up of ‘I’m sorry’. I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It’s like, ‘I’m sorry to be here’. I don’t want to disturb anyone. Yohji Yamamoto

(Source: wordsthat-speak, via willowsmarika)

38,098 notes
A warrior feeds her body well. She trains it, works on it. Where she lacks knowledge, she studies. But above all, she must believe in her strength of will and purpose and heart and soul. David Gemmel

(Source: heartfullofpeanutbutter, via handcraftedinvirginia)

31,466 notes
Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.

(Source: sempiternale, via smellslikeadeadlyfandom)

136,315 notes

One of the strangest anti-feminist stereotypes to me – among the Birkenstock-wearing and bra-burning – is the idea that we’re unhappy. Angry. Bitter. Both because the foundation of the insult is the assumption that women should be perpetually happy, and because the truth is that the culture doesn’t actually mind if women are unhappy – so long as we keep it to ourselves.

Women’s distress directed inward – from eating disorders to feelings of inadequacy – keeps the status quo moving along, with diet pills selling through the roof and women asking for promotions far less often than their male counterparts. But when our dissatisfaction takes an outward turn, people get uncomfortable. Then, women’s emotions are “hysterical” or over-the-top. Anything less than a bubbly disposition means that we’re “bitches”. Hell hath no fury like a man who finds a woman displeasing.

From “Why are women so ‘unhappy’?”, my latest at the Guardian.

(Source: jessicavalenti, via lumalore)

5,791 notes
And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too. Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

(Source: larmoyante, via liquid-lightning)

38,644 notes
What is significant about fan fiction is that it often spins the kind of stories that showrunners wouldn’t think to tell, because fanficcers often come from a different demographic. The discomfort seems to be not that the shows are being reinterpreted by fans, but that they are being reinterpreted by the wrong sorts of fans - women, people of colour, queer kids, horny teenagers, people who are not professional writers, people who actually care about continuity (sorry). The proper way for cultural mythmaking to progress, it is implied, is for privileged men to recreate the works of privileged men from previous generations whilst everyone else listens quietly. That’s how it’s always been done. That’s how it should be done in the future, whatever Tumblr says.
But time can be rewritten. Myths can bend and change. Something new and exciting is happening in the world of storytelling, and fans are an important part of it. Laurie Penny, Sherlock and the Adventure of the Overzealous Fanbase [x]

(Source: wearethemakersofmanners, via lumalore)

16,411 notes

Porn teaches men they are gods. Pop culture teaches men that the epitome of success is to be surrounded by naked women, fawning over you. Prostitution exists because we, as a culture, very much believe that women exist to pleasure men. We tell women that they have to “work” in marriage, to keep their men happy, to keep them from straying — buy sexy lingerie, try threesomes, try anal, perform every porn fantasy he has — he needs it, he deserves it, it is your job.

We can continue to skirt around these truths — that the sex industry and our patriarchal culture breed men like Rodger — but expect more violence, more deaths, more rape, and more abuse. Our world is rife with Elliot Rodgers. We create them every day. They aren’t going anywhere.

Male entitlement begets male entitlement: On Elliot Rodger, misogyny, and the sex industry (via feministcurrent)

(via smellslikeadeadlyfandom)

15,761 notes
I am a feminist. I’ve been female for a long time now. I’d be stupid not to be on my own side. Maya Angelou 

(Source: robert-winchester-novak, via takemyhand-221b)

129,708 notes

misswrld:

the glorification of kurt cobain and demonization of courtney love is so discouraging but a reminder that if you’re a man and you’re an abrasive, provocative, drug-addled musician then you’re the voice of a generation but if you’re all of those things and a woman, you’re a junkie succubus

(Source: strangemrcy, via liquid-lightning)

36,717 notes